My Timmy

There once was a boy named Tim Huntsman. I fell in love with him. We got married and are now living happily forever after. The end. :)

We met before Tim's mission at a young single adult sand volleyball activity and we hung out a few times before he left, but we didn't write each other until he was about to come home. When he was finally home, he was trying to decide whether or not he should go back to BYU or stay and attend BSU. Eventually, he came to a decision. He stayed! I'd like to think I had a lot to do with this, though I suppose it doesn't really matter. What matters is that, even though I was nervous about letting another guy (i'd dated some not-so-good guys) into my life, he was patient enough to allow me time to fall in love with him. Tim got home from his mission at a time when I was recovering from some stupid choices that I'd made. I had some trust issues, but he waited it out (it being all the time it took for our relationship to blossom). I'll always be grateful for that.

After months of spending almost every waking moment together (watching movies, doing homework, going to school, attending institute classes, going to church, eating scrumptious triple-decker pb and j sandwiches, playing and singing music, talking on the phone until the wee hours of the morning, hanging out with friends and family... and the list goes on) we went on a stroll from Riva Ridge Way (the street he lived on) to Reutzel Dr (the street I lived on... yes we were neighbors growing up and didn't even know it). We continued walking down Ruetzel while we held hands and talked. I don't remember what we talked about, but our chit chat isn't the point of this story. The good stuff is coming up, though, I promise. Anyways, we walked and walked and walked and when we reached Rushmore Way. Tim got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I thought he was joking at first and asked in awe, "Are you serious?" Only seconds later, positive that my boyfriend was wanting to become my fiancé, excitement burst from my heart to my mouth and I literally screamed "YES!!!!"

We kept our engagement a secret for one day. Well actually, I think we each told one person. He told his sister and I told my nephew, Gabe (he couldn't talk at the time so I knew my secret was safe with him).  Other than that, we wanted to have a day of bliss just to ourselves.

The next day, he came to pick me up for a car ride. On the way to somewhere (I was clueless), Tim told me about his experience in the temple. I'm not going to go into details about that, but you can know that it made me bawl tears of joy.  I couldn't stop crying. I felt so loved and wanted. This engagement felt soooo right! Tim was planning on driving to the volleyball court where we first met and officially proposing (ring and all) there, but he felt bad about continuing to drive as I was crying. Instead, he pulled over and whipped out the ring. Again he asked me to marry him. This made me cry even harder. :) Hugs and kisses happened... it was a beautiful moment... and then we went to show and tell to our parents and everyone we could think of. 

The only other day in my life that was better than the two days I've just described would be our wedding day.

We were married in the Boise temple on the 27th of March 2010. Family and friends came to the ceremony and witnessed us being sealed for time and all eternity.  There was not a dry eye in the room. The spirit was so sweet.

I now get to be with my best friend for ever--learning and growing. I'm the luckiest girl EVER!  

  

Tools for the Trials of Life and the Negative Thoughts that Tag Along

Life, for most people in the world, consists of stress and busy schedules. Everything we do occurs at top notch speeds. The activities we engage in, the shows we watch, the music we listen to, the commodities we buy, the relationships we have/want seem to fly by at rapid tempos. We are easily upset if something seems to be taking "forever" to happen. I know that I have, on more than one occasion, stood in front of the microwave cursing my pre-cooked burrito for taking too long to get warm. Pathetic, probably, but it just shows how much a part of a high-speed society I really am.

With such a society, running as fast it can, responsibilities like family, jobs, and school seem to stack higher and higher. Trying to keep up to par with everything may be difficult and when one falls behind, it seems like there is no way to catch up and the glimmer of hope can quickly morph into a black hole of despair.
Perhaps, you have experienced what I am describing. If you have ever felt like you were drowning in an ocean of stress-overload you probably know what I’m talking about. You are discouraged at yourself for falling behind. You feel mad at the world for throwing so much stress and chaos at you. You feel bad for letting your boss, teachers, and/or loved ones down. You feel horrible about not being "good enough" and then the thoughts begin to make their way in, the negative "just give up" kind of thoughts. "You'll never be able to fix everything or come out on top." "Why are you even trying?" "It is too hard, there’s sooo much to do and not enough time." "There is no hope for a bright future, if you can't handle your life, right now" "You've lost control, stop trying, it is no use."

These thoughts are horrible! They bring with them confusion, doubt, fear, and a disgusting knot in the stomach that forms when a lie is told. This is because these thoughts and thoughts similar to them are lies. Satan, the father lies, wants to destroy us, to make us as miserable as he is. D&C 10: 22 states that: “Satan leads souls to destruction.” And in Moses 4: 6 we learn more about the devil’s evil intentions when we read that: “Satan [seeks] to destroy the world.” He was our brother in the pre-earth life. He knows us: our weaknesses, our talents, our strengths. He knows our great potential and wants us to fail. He, as well as his legions of evil spirit followers, will do all that they can to hinder our progression. Though they cannot read our thoughts, they can whisper evil and degrading things into our minds. If we allow these things to stay, little by little we will fall away from reaching our God-given potential. Steven A. Cramer, in his book, Putting on the Amor of God, states the following phrase repeatedly: “What gets your attention get you.” Negative thoughts (like the aforementioned) have popped into everyone’s head (I know that they’ve popped into mine), but this does not mean we have to keep them there. Even the Savior of the world, He who was perfect, was tempted of the devil. When Jesus had fasted for forty days he went into the wilderness and the devil came to tempt him. In Matt 4: 10 we read the Savior’s response. He commanded: “Get thee hence, Satan…” and like the Savior, we mustn’t allow Satan’s whisperings to stay with us.

We have had and will continue to have challenges in our lives. Satan will continue in his endeavors at feeding negative thoughts into our heads in hope that we will let them linger to torture our souls. Today, though, I want to talk about how we can deal with the stresses of this world and how to replace negative thoughts and feelings with faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and hope in His infinite Atonement.
In his talk entitled Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, Elder Kevin W. Pearson said: “Challenging times require greater spiritual power” (40). How true that is! The bar has been raised in missionary requirements and it should be raised in our own lives. The standards of the world are progressively falling. We see it everywhere (in the streets, at school in the media, and etc). With so much chaos and confusion surrounding us, we need to do more to protect ourselves from falling right alongside the world; we need to do all that we can to stay close to the Lord.

There are many tools like prayer, the words of the prophets, and temple worship available to help us through the hardships of life. Let’s talk a little bit more about each of these tools. First, we can pray. Heavenly Father is there. He listens to and answers every single prayer. He loves us and wants us to come to Him, to give Him our thanks, to share with him our desires, our heartache, to ask Him for help. In D&C 10:5 it says, “Pray always, that you may come off conqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work.” Prayer is such a simple thing and yet it is so powerful.

The words of the prophets are another tool. Whether it be President Monson and the general authorities of today or the prophets of old. Messages of comfort and guidance from the Lord are relayed through them to us in church magazines like the Ensign and in the scriptures. This is also a simple thing and so much strength and joy (even answers to prayers) can come from simply reading! I don’t know how many times I have read my scriptures or flipped through talks in the Ensign and had several questions answered or received direction as the Spirit whispered to my heart that what I was reading was truth. Elder Sheldon F. Child in his talk A Sure Foundation pleaded: “Brothers and sisters, if God loves us enough to send us prophets, then we need to love Him enough to follow them. Following the prophets will help protect us against the storms of life and lead us to Christ. [hold scriptures and ensign up] These are words from our Heavenly Father through His servants to me and to you. They can be our guide to surviving and even thriving in these troubled times.

Temple worship is also a source of strength and power in times of need. Elder Richard G. Scott gave a marvelous talk in General Conference last month on this very subject. In his talk he suggested several ways that one can benefit more from attending the temple. Such suggestions include [read out of ensign](44). He also testified that: “When we keep the temple covenants we have made and when we live righteously in order to maintain the blessings promised by those ordinances then come what may, we have no reason to feel despondent”(45). What a blessing it is to have a temple in the very city we live. Travel time is only a matter of minutes and we can be within the walls of the temple, away from the cares of the world. For those of us who are not endowed, we have opportunities several times a week to go do baptisms for the dead. And for the endowed the opportunity is always there. I don’t take enough advantage of this. I get caught up with being too busy or not wanting to sacrifice a few hours of sleep to get up early and go, but I know that when I have gone it has been awesome. The Holy Ghost is strong when I do service in general, but it is especially strong within the sacred walls of the temple, as I participate in ordinances by proxy for those who have gone to the spirit world. If you don’t currently hold a temple recommend, schedule an interview with the bishop to receive one. If you are unworthy to receive one, then get worthy! Again, talk to the bishop, he loves you and is there to help with the repentance process so that you can once again enjoy the blessings of the temple. Attending the temple can strengthen our testimonies and make us more able to deal with the stresses and doubts of the world.

Negativity may crash in from all around us. Circumstance may be treacherous. And with such, doubts and sorrow can crowd our hearts and minds. Even with (ESPECIALLY with) the hard times we are experiencing and/or will experience, we need to remember the many tools that God has provided for us. Prayer, the words of the prophets, and temples are only a few of the resources we have available to us. We have family and friends, home and visiting teachers, institute classes, beautiful and inspiring hymns and music, and other things and people in our lives that can aid us in this earthly experience. Going back to Kevin W. Pearson’s Talk Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, he closed with his testimony that “Because He lives (He being the Savior), there is always hope smiling brightly before us. In a household of faith, there is no need to fear or doubt. Choose to live by faith and not fear.”

I want to close with my own testimony. I know that God lives and loves each one of us. I know that Jesus is my elder brother and my Savior. I know that he lived a perfect life and that if I follow his example I will be blessed. I know that he suffered the Atonement because he loves me and each of us. I know that he experienced all of my pains and all of my heartache. He knows exactly what I have gone through, all that I am going through, and all that I will go through. He died and was resurrected so that we may live again with Him, our Heavenly Parents and all of our loved ones. Life may bring me down, I may be a horrible sinner, but everything will be okay because I know that I am not alone. I know that through repentance, no matter how bad I mess up, I can be made clean; I can be forgiven! I know that Satan is real and that he is doing his best to confuse us, to make us doubt, to lead us away from the blessings that come through living the gospel. Even with the distractions of the devil, even with the stresses of mortality, I know that men are that they might have joy. God wants us to be happy. Times may be hard, but there is no reason to fear. He has provided us with the means to endure. I know that with God we can do and get through anything.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Of Good Choices and Great Opportunities

Being in a singles' branch, I am reminded constantly of the importance of dating and getting married. I know that marriage should be the ultimate goal of an individual attending a branch of this type, but-- in my case (at least originally)-- the singles' branch was simply an opportunity to socialize with people who were and are in similar circumstances of life and learning as me.

My choice to associate with singles, like all choices, has been accompanied by consequences. It has been wonderful to be able to make friends and feel like, for the first time in my life, that I fit in! And yet, I also feel like I am growing up too fast. Being in college and surrounded by older single adults has given me experience that would have been shielded from me, had I stayed in high school for the usual amount of time.

I have dated all sorts of men (hey, I've even had a few marriage proposals!) and I've been attending a singles ward, institute, and college for three years now. All of this should be new to me, since I am only an 18-year-old girl, but it is not. I am used to all of it. In fact, I am starting to get tired of it all.

People often ask me, "Brooke, if you could go back in time, would you decided to stay in high school?" My reply is always the same, " No. The choice to go to college has given me some hard consequences, but it has been the best decision of my life. If I had the chance to go back in time, even with the knowledge that I have about how it would all turn out, I would choose college over high school, any day." And I would, too! After all, I prayed about that decision and felt like attending college was what I needed to do. As hard as it may be, at times, I still feel comforted in my choice.

With that said, I return to the idea of growing myself up too fast. I have one more year until I graduate with a BA, when a normal girl my age would be barely starting off at a new school as a Freshman-- the world of college being new, fresh, and exciting. It is insane to think about! I am excited to think of how far ahead I am in the world in comparison to that little freshman girl, though.

I have the advantage of a few years of experience. I'll be able to graduate, before I marry (that is, if I ever marry). I'll be able to get a nice, stable job and start really supporting myself (hopefully, anyhow... haha). I'll also probably be able to go to Graduate school. There is so much I can do with my life! Thousands of doors are wide open for me-- each one filled with a dozen fabulous opportunities. I am one lucky girl! I just hope that I can make the most of it.

I haven't done my best, in the past, but today is a new day and a bright future can be mine, if I give it my all and always rely upon the Lord to make up for the difference.

I know...

[If there are any questions about the below please ask me, check out http://www.mormon.org/, http://www.lds.net/, http://www.lds.org/, or talk with your friendly neighborhood LDS missionaries. :) ]

I am a woman with strong christian beliefs, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (in other words... I'm Mormon), and I know that by the power of prayer anyone can obtain a knowledge of loving heavenly parents and a brother, the Savior, Jesus Christ. How do I know this? Well, let me tell you my story...

I was born into an LDS (Latter-day Saint) family and raised in the church. I remember going to church every week. Sundays were very special.

I loved getting up early and having my mom and grandma (we lived with my grandparents for the first five years of my life) help me curl my long blonde hair and put on a pretty dress. My Grandma would sometimes make us breakfast and she would turn on reverent music (usually the Mormon Tabernacle Choir) as she cooked and finished getting ready for the day. This would set such a peaceful mood.

Primary was amazing! Being with other little kids, to sing songs and learn about the gospel was a very sweet experience. To this day, primary songs have a tender spot in my heart.

When I turned eight-years-old, I was old enough to make my own decision as to whether or not I wanted to be baptized. Looking back on it, I'm not sure that I fully understood the hugeness of the covenants that I was undertaking, but I knew enough. I knew that I wanted to be good and to choose the right. I knew that Christ was baptized and, since he was the perfect example, I knew that I should be baptized, as well.

At my baptism, I remember that, once I had come back out of the water, I felt clean. It was like I was shining from head to toe. I felt warm and cozy-- as if I had received the best hug ever! The next Sunday, I was confirmed and received the gift of the Holy Ghost. This gift has been a major comfort and guide in my life. I have continued to grow and it has helped me make wise decisions and be comforted when things get tough.

The years went by and, eventually, I turned twelve. At this age girls and boys graduated from primary and moved into Young Men's and Young Women's (otherwise known as Youth Group or Mutual). Activities, leaders, and friends were there to help and support me.

The summer after I turned 13, I found a Book of Mormon with my older brother's testimony in the back of it. He first read the whole thing, cover to cover, at the age of 12. Seeing this, I decided to read the Book of Mormon, too. I'd heard some of its stories in Sunday School classes and Sacrament meeting talks.

At first, that was all it was to me-- stories. I read nonchalantly until I reached the book of Enos. That day, my mom and I were driving around and running errands when my progress with reading became the topic of conversation. I told her how much I'd read and she responded with a question that changed everything.

"So... Do you know it's true, yet?" she asked.

At this, I was hit with a realization. "No," I admitted. I had no idea whether or not it was true. I'd heard it was true from family members and church leaders, but I-- for the first time in my life-- didn't want to blindly rely on their words. I wanted to know for myself! After all, if the Book of Mormon wasn't true, then that meant that Joseph Smith didn't translate it correctly. For all I knew, he could have made up the whole thing! If this was the case, then he must not have been an inspired man of God; and if he wasn't a prophet, then the whole church that was supposedly restored through him would have to not be true, as well. This would mean that everything I had been taught throughout my whole life (concerning religion) would have to be wrong. With this train of thought, I began to doubt and question everything. If none of this was true, then I needed to find out for myself so that I could move on with my life. I didn't want to continue "wasting my time" with an untrue church. That would have been pointless.

Reading the Book of Mormon, from that day on, became a quest for knowledge and truth. I prayed to know, without a doubt, whether or not its writings were true, whether or not all of its doctrines were true, and if the prophets and church leaders were are all called of God. I needed to know! Not knowing was driving me insane.

This process of searching for an answer took time. My life consisted of nothing else but reading, praying and searching for answers. Finally, one day, I came across a scripture in Moroni that promised that through the whisperings of the Holy Ghost, a person could know and understand all things. Moroni states:

Behold, I exort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been to the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts. And when ye shall receive these things, I would exort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. (Moroni 10:3-5)

When I read this, my resolve to discover the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon and everything having to do with the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was strengthened for a final push. I was in the concluding chapter of the book and my faith was beginning to wane. I needed to know, I yearned to know.

At church, during the sacrament hymn, I tried focusing on the words as the congregation sang about the Savior. The words pounded into my head-- words about a man who had supposedly suffered the Atonement for me and for everyone. My mind turned to my recent readings about the Savior. In the book of 3 Nephi, in The Book of Mormon, he comes to visit the people on the American continent after his resurrection. They were the lost sheep that he spoke of in The New Testament. It all made sense. It had to be true, but I wasn't sure, yet. I wanted to be sure so that if anyone asked me if I knew, I could honestly answer them. I closed my eyes and silently offered up one more prayer. I pled with God to know-- to know so that I couldn't question!

All of the sudden, I was filled with warmth. It was as if a light bulb had gone off in my head and in my heart. The clouds of uncertainty lifted and I just knew. The Book of Mormon is true! Jesus is the Christ! God is my father in Heaven! Joseph Smith was a prophet! Gordon B. Hinckley was the president of the church, then, and he was a true prophet, too! Everything came together in a rush of knowledge. The Holy Ghost spoke to my heart of the truthfulness of all of it and my chest burned with emotion. I was crying because the experience was so overpowering. I felt such joy and gratitude for a Heavenly Father who listened to my many prayers and answered every single one. It was amazing!

I gained my own testimony that day and am glad to say that I do know, now. I carried this knowledge with me through the remainder of my jr. high and high school years. It has gone with me to college and I am constantly reminded of the sweetness and truth of the gospel through my studies, prayers, and attendance in my singles' ward and institute classes. I pray to always remember this knowledge and to have the courage to share it with others so that they might come to know, as well.

I know...

I know that Jesus was born to Mary about 2000 years ago. I know that he lived a perfect life, suffered the Atonement, bled from every pore, was crucified, and was resurrected for me and for every person who ever lived and who ever will live. He knows and loves me. He suffered through all of my pains and has atoned for all of my sins so that I might not be alone through the trials of this life and so that I can repent and be clean again. Oh, how I love the Savior!!!!

I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet. Before that, though, he was a young boy who lived at a time of great religious excitement. He questioned truth and had the faith to ask, in prayer, about which of the churches he should join. In a grove of trees, he knelt in prayer. His prayer was answered! Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father appeared to him and told him to join none of them.
It was through this young boy's faith, that the gospel was restored upon the earth in all of its fullness. Through the authority/keys of the Priesthood, the church of Christ and the ordinances, doctrines, revelations, scriptures, and etc. are once again upon the earth!

I know that the Book of Mormon is true scripture. I have read it and have felt the beautiful promptings of the Holy ghost while doing so. It, alongside the Bible, is another testament of Christ. It is a record of a people who lived on the American continent-- their dealings with God, the Savior, and each other. It was translated by Joseph Smith with the assistance of the Urim and Thummim. Though it be a record of ancient inhabitants, its writings have the ability to change lives for the better, comfort hearts, and inspire those who read it, today.

I know that temples are holy places, houses of the Lord. I know that the ordinances done in temples (for the living and dead) make it possible for families to be together forever.

I know that God loves me, that I am his daughter, and that he wants me to be happy. He listens to my prayers and answers each and everyone of them. Prayer is powerful! Miracles happen everyday because of simple prayers. I know that "with God, nothing is impossible" (Luke 1:37).

I know that anyone can come to this knowledge and find answers to any question through careful study and earnest prayer.

I know these things and so much more.... It is so wonderful!!!!! and I thank my God for all of it!

I testify of these things and close this blog entry in Jesus Christ's sacred name. Amen. :)

The Secret

As most of you know, I am a fan of positive thinking. I have several books that emphasize the power of intention and the like. Recently, my mother and I were watching Oprah and a lady was on the show who was advertising a book called The Secret. The contents,of this book pretty much fit perfectly with all that I have previously learned about changing life for the better. We bought the book and a DVD that goes a long with it.

As the Costco cashier said, "Once you get past the weird music and whispering" it is an amazing DVD filled with the basic truths of the universe. The main truth discussed is the law of attraction. Basically, people attract people, places, experiences, and things into their lives. Quoting from the movie: "thoughts become things." If our thoughts and feelings are positive, then good things come into our lives and vis versa. Using an example from my own life: when I'm running late, it seems like I hit every red light. This is because I am constantly thinking, "I'm going to be late." I am thinking about being late and so I end up being late. Yeah... This stuff is disgusting, if your a pessimistic individual. On the flip side, though, knowing how to harness your positive thoughts and feelings assists you in money matters, relationships, health, goals, dreams, and an infinite number of things. Check the website at http://thesecret.tv/!

Good quotes that agree with all self-help/positive thinking material:

"Imagination is the key to all things" ~Albert Einstein

"And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you" ~Luke 11:9

"What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality" ~Otto Rank

"Empires of the mind are empires of the future" ~Winston Churchill

"I think therefore I am" ~René Descartes

Weak.

The ROTC had a big shebang goin' on, today. I was walking to the SUB, observing the craziness, when I caught sight of one of my friends. He, being one of the ROTC guys attempting to get people involved, convinced me to head over to the activities and get some free stuff. Free stuff! What college student isn't always up for free stuff?!?! He led me over and hooked me up. The thing is, though, the "free stuff" wasn't exactly free (besides a selection of camouflage pencils). To get the good stuff, a person was to do some sort of physical activity. I decided to go for a T-shirt by busting out 78 sit-ups and 48 push-ups.

To keep things simple, let's just say that I could have done better. My attempt was pitiful. I did do enough of each to get a nifty U.S. Army water-bottle... Woohoo! You'd think, with all the junk I've carried around the past two semesters, that I'd be in better shape. Then again, carrying backpacks doesn't really work on a persons abs or biceps. I've pretty much decided that the only thing I've gained, from the months of backpacking around campus is bad posture.

I am determined to exercise more often. I do love running. Perhaps, I'll get back into the habit of jogging around my neighborhood. Yoga is awesome, too. Whatever works... Nonetheless, my push-ups and sit-ups definitely need some help. I am weak! :(.

The Real Man

What is the definition of a real man? Are there actually real men in the world?

What about those who are considered less than the real man? What is the defining line. Where is the differentiating border that separates the "real men" from the "boys" or "woman folk."

I have several friends who are obsessed with being "real men." It is mostly talked about in a playful manner, but it has caused many a thought to bounce around in my noggin.

This is what I mean...

• You can be a man's man and like supposedly feminine things, right? Right.
  
• My dad plants flowers in the garden and my brothers like chick flicks. Does this make them unmanly? No.
  
• I've seen shows discuss/interview gay men. When asked about the circumstances and determining factors of the discovery of their "true" sexuality, ridiculous reasons were usually (if not always) stated. Does liking the color pink distinguish you as a homosexual? It shouldn't. If a man can decorate, good for him. So a guy sings and dances like Gene Kelly, what is so unmanly about that? Etc., etc. Where in Tar Nation did such retarded ideas about men come from? It might not be the norm, but it doesn't have to be warped into gay and lesbian crap.
• When did not liking feminine things become a way of getting a dame? Yes, a girl likes to know her man is a stable source of protection, but she also finds it wonderfully attractive when her oh so strong chico shows his soft side.

Random quote/story from my memory bank =

A group of guys are sitting around discussing how to be real men. Guy to guy, they share their manliness. Eventually, the topic of shaving comes up. The fellows take turns going into great depth about how they supposedly shave like real men. As the narratives go on, the stories get more extreme until finally... dun dun dun... the man's man approaches.

"Ya'll got nothin'," he breathed in a deep scratchy voice. "I wrap barbed wire around my fists and punch myself in the face. It takes the skin right along with the hair, but THAT is how a real man shaves."

yeah.. that is my version... it actually goes on more and is slightly different, but hey.

Give me your thoughts and opinions please.

The Point of No Return

I think I have used up all of the motivation and self-discipline that has carried me through the last few months. There comes a time, when the end of a semester is nigh and grades are pretty much stable, that I simply don't want to care anymore. I have reached this point and any thought of school makes me want to scream... "AAAAWWWW!" <--- Do you see what I mean? I need some kind of a boost to help me just keep chuggin' along. Ugg! Perhaps, if I make a paper chain (like we did in kindergarten), the thrill of taking off one link every day will do the trick.. ha. It's worth a try, eh? Any advice or prescriptions for my serious case of lackadaisicalness?